Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Purple Shirt of the Week: OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

This was the news headline in my RSS feed this morning.

Someone stole Justin Beiber's prized purple Yankees hat in New Zealand.

What are kids doing these days?

Listening to crap, apparently.

Listen parents, it has now been scientifically proven: letting your kids listen to this drivel will lead them into a life of crime. No good can come of this.

Well, actually, i guess the more parents try to mold their children's listening interests, the more the kids dig in. So i suggest some reverse psychology. Crank this teenybopper up in your mini van and sing at the top of your lungs. To their friends. And to the crossing guard at school. Make sure everyone sees you.

Probably, your kids will not think you're cool. But don't worry, they already think that. but it might drive them away from it. And sure, this program will be painful to execute. But raising children means investing in some pain anyway, so you already signed up for it. Whether it will be on par with childbirth or not...well, I have no plans/factory options to find out these pains. Let me know how it turns out.

Oh, make sure that you steal your kid's copy of the album, or torrent it from the Internet. Because buying it will only encourage the record company even more. They already said "Hey, we made a lot of money off this little kid in 2009 with his album My World. Let's crank another one out in 2010 just like it and just call it My World 2.0!"

I wish i was making this stuff up, people. Sadly, life is often like that - more bizarre than your imagination can invent.

I was watching La Bamba, the 80s movie about a 50s star, the other day. Remember when teen idols had real talent, not just a team of writers and autotune?

I mean, yeah, it was also easy to mock Hanson back in the day. But it was pretty obvious listening to the songs that, despite producers descending upon those brothers like vultures on a dead skunk, the core writing was, well, by a bunch of kids. Who have gone on to become respected songwriters, as amusing as that might seem in hindsight.

I now know more about Justin Beiber than I ever wanted to. Why? Because I didn't want to know anything in the first place. Oh wait, you meant "why do i know anything/so much?" because this kid is wrecking havoc at mall appearances around the world. and talking to walls will soon be wrecking havoc at mall appearances around the tri-state area in the Northeastern US. So, really, we're looking at how his security team handles the mobs.

Or, we're trying to figure out who's doing the mall circuit so we know who to make jokes about. because the tiffany jokes are going to fall flat most likely. At least until we do our big tour opener at the Meriden Westfield Mall July Fourth Weekend.

Up to you to decide what's been warranting this research into Justin Beiber.

But the fact remains, the kid's favorite hat is a purple yankee hat. It would be better if it were the Mets, Red Sox, or, well, anything else - even the Royals - but hey, when a kid from Canada jumps on the bandwagon of American Baseball, he doesn't know any better.

And a purple red sox hat would just be weird. But still and all, Master B, we salute you in your color choice.


Ann said...

Go Yankees!

Some of Hubby's students were at a private party with the little dude. He got to hear ALL about it. sheesh.

Talking to Walls said...

well, that's pretty cool for them.

if they want to tell him all about hanging out with Talking to Walls after a show, we'll be in Norwalk 5/13. :)