Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Purple Shirt of the Week: OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

This was the news headline in my RSS feed this morning.

Someone stole Justin Beiber's prized purple Yankees hat in New Zealand.

What are kids doing these days?

Listening to crap, apparently.

Listen parents, it has now been scientifically proven: letting your kids listen to this drivel will lead them into a life of crime. No good can come of this.

Well, actually, i guess the more parents try to mold their children's listening interests, the more the kids dig in. So i suggest some reverse psychology. Crank this teenybopper up in your mini van and sing at the top of your lungs. To their friends. And to the crossing guard at school. Make sure everyone sees you.

Probably, your kids will not think you're cool. But don't worry, they already think that. but it might drive them away from it. And sure, this program will be painful to execute. But raising children means investing in some pain anyway, so you already signed up for it. Whether it will be on par with childbirth or not...well, I have no plans/factory options to find out these pains. Let me know how it turns out.

Oh, make sure that you steal your kid's copy of the album, or torrent it from the Internet. Because buying it will only encourage the record company even more. They already said "Hey, we made a lot of money off this little kid in 2009 with his album My World. Let's crank another one out in 2010 just like it and just call it My World 2.0!"

I wish i was making this stuff up, people. Sadly, life is often like that - more bizarre than your imagination can invent.

I was watching La Bamba, the 80s movie about a 50s star, the other day. Remember when teen idols had real talent, not just a team of writers and autotune?

I mean, yeah, it was also easy to mock Hanson back in the day. But it was pretty obvious listening to the songs that, despite producers descending upon those brothers like vultures on a dead skunk, the core writing was, well, by a bunch of kids. Who have gone on to become respected songwriters, as amusing as that might seem in hindsight.

I now know more about Justin Beiber than I ever wanted to. Why? Because I didn't want to know anything in the first place. Oh wait, you meant "why do i know anything/so much?" because this kid is wrecking havoc at mall appearances around the world. and talking to walls will soon be wrecking havoc at mall appearances around the tri-state area in the Northeastern US. So, really, we're looking at how his security team handles the mobs.

Or, we're trying to figure out who's doing the mall circuit so we know who to make jokes about. because the tiffany jokes are going to fall flat most likely. At least until we do our big tour opener at the Meriden Westfield Mall July Fourth Weekend.

Up to you to decide what's been warranting this research into Justin Beiber.

But the fact remains, the kid's favorite hat is a purple yankee hat. It would be better if it were the Mets, Red Sox, or, well, anything else - even the Royals - but hey, when a kid from Canada jumps on the bandwagon of American Baseball, he doesn't know any better.

And a purple red sox hat would just be weird. But still and all, Master B, we salute you in your color choice.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Purple shirt of te week: in under the wire

So now that the blog has been back on schedule, I don't want to fall
off - especially with that mafia enforcer on my case that I showed a
picture a few weeks back. So I'd better post now rather than go into

I've been trying to stay away from the computer since Friday night (or
had no choice, as I was the lighting designer for a dance show Friday
night. and yes, there was a lot of my favorite light gel color, Lee
161, a purple so deep it's dark and needs a lot of lights to see it,
and is so dark not only does it look like black light, but the 3,000
watt lamps burn through it if you use them for too long!), so luckily
I received a submission from someone for the blog and can write this
on my phone.

This comes to us from my friend Lanita, a blogger who has been
covering the band when we are in the NYC area (hence the name
) who shares my affinity for bad 80's hair metal. She submitted some
purple chucks a year ago. Sadly, they met an untimely end, when she
took a trip to Italy and decided it would be fun to stomp grapes at a
winery (it looked like fun when Lucille Ball did it on I Love Lucy,
even if Lanita was not being presented with an old world nemesis at
whom she would have to throw fistfulls of grapes.) sadly, she forgot
to take her shoes off, and while that would seem to make them even
MORE purple, it also meant forever after she was damned to leave
stains on her carpeting when she got back home. Stainmaster carpet
bedamned. Ao these are her new sets of chucks.

Look none of this email is making any sense, but considering that it
is after 1am and I had an early day and late nights all the last few
days, we will just say it didn't happen, ok?

Let's just marvel at these kicks...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Purple Shirt of the Week: A night on the town

Hail, dear readers!

(What the hail, dear brian...)

So now that I'm back on the blogging kick, I realized how many photos
have been submitted that I just haven't gotten to. But fret not, I
shall whittle away at the list here each week. No one will be turned
away! A chicken in every pot and a purple shirt in every closet!

Here is a photo that was submitted a long time ago by a friend from
the scene who is a devoted reader. How devoted? I think you can tell
for yourself. Who said grad school was all boring and no fun?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Purple Shirt of the Week: Midweek Special

What a lovely Spring we're having in the Northeast! I thought of you
all today as i looked out at my garden(s). All the colors are very
vivid, and so I took some pictures to share. And look, even the weeds
growing in my lawn are Purple!

Tune in Friday for something truly fabulous!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Purple Shirt of the Week: Taking Names

Oh yeah, the Purple blog is back on schedule! And here meet the
She's a bad-a## criminal mastermind who's done time in Rikers after a
cop looked at her the wrong way. She'll be keeping me on schedule and
on my toes about this blog getting out there every week like it used
to be.

So if i miss a week, it's because I'M missing. Don't send the dogs to
find me, because this dawg's gonna have me buried in concrete.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Purple Shirt of the Week: Catching up

I realize that the world has shuddered to a halt. Heads of state couldn't make treaties, children cried in the streets, the government couldn't pass unemployment and healthcare bills, and Velvet Revolver hasn't found a new singer. My apologies. It's all my fault, as I hadn't written the Purple Blog in a month.

So to get back into things, we're gonna post a bunch this week (he says...) since I have finally gotten all my photos together that have been taken and submitted over my travels in the past month or so. I know you've all been waiting breathlessly for me to come off the road and post, but, as His Most Holy Mulleted Steve Perry once sang, "Loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be".

So let's get some more road photos, shall we? So far the spring tour season has brought us a new fan with the right ensemble and a gentlemen's club in PA. Let's skip ahead a week or two to Boston, where we met someone with the MOST AWESOME NAME IN THE WORLD. Purple fans, please meet Larissa Purple.

You read that right.

Cool, huh?

Caught her not wearing purple, but really, does she need to? She's already built-in awesome.

A few days later we played our big St. Patrick's Day Stomp & Shatter extravaganza at home in Bridgeport. A friend of mine took a photo of their purple walls, not only for the blog, but because it had the most gorgeous decoration ever seen on a venue's wall.

So tune in later this week at an unspecified time and day for another installment of the blog!