Purple Shirt of the Week: Return to actual shirts

There haven't been enough actual shirts on this blog lately, so I
cornered my friend Kurt, whom I'm in TX with this week. (Interesting
side note: he's a drummer who grew up with our drummer Krupa...)

Purple Shirt of the Week: Special Double Issue

So, at last post (which admittedly was over a week ago), I shared with you, dear universe, the guitar strings that I got from Aurora Strings, whom Talking to Walls had just gotten an endorsement deal with. As I was writing that, I was trying to place when that meeting happened. My FRIEND Kate (you'll understand in a moment) pointed out that the meeting was on the morning of her wedding, for which I was the best man. Of course!

Let me regal you with my intrigue and sneakery.

Piture it...Newtown, CT...2009...the wind is blowing as the threat of rain darkens the sky...

Dress rehearsal at the chapel, and there's some goofing around on the altar, to break tension or, in my case, because I think I'm the most amusing person I know. The pivotal point here is my FRIEND the bride saying "I just have to try not to lose it up here" - crying messes up makeup and all, you know? And being the object of attention of the photographer for the day...

So I devise a plan - why not wear purple dress socks with my tux? Obviously, because what would any other self-respecting individual do? So the next night, I show up appropriately dressed, taking care that my socks wouldn't show in normal circumstances - standing, walking the aisle - the parts I wanted to photograph well and be seen by all, and disguise my assassin-like wit. Luckily, the groom, whom I've known since second grade, is used to my being completely inappropriate. I texted a photo of my stunning fashion sense over to the maid of honor and my FRIEND the bride, who were in the makeup and photo session, getting ready. I then posted the photo on Twitter, which feeds my Facebook, something about "helping my friend the bride laugh instead of cry on the altar" or something like that. You know, be able to look down and have something lightly absurd to distract her as I show a little ankle.

All I know is 20 minutes after posting that, my girlfriend gets a phone call from an old friend of hers, chewing her out for not telling her that we were getting married and very upset. And 20 minutes after that conversation, I was getting chewed out in the back of the church by GF for posting it on Facebook and her having to talk down her angry friend...

Good times.

Since it's been a while since the last post, I'll share more.

Here is a post-wedding photo of the bride and a friend of theirs, as we celebrate birthdays (husband, his sister and & I all have birthdays within like 2 weeks). so we go to his parents house and eat Dad's homemade pizza. One of the best traditions I partake in.

Purple Shirt of the Week: Strings (not threads)

So once again we diverge from shirts, blouses and tops (and clothing
in general) to bring you something else purple. This time it's guitar
strings!

Why? Because they're made by Aurora Strings, the guitar string
company that just endorsed Talking to Walls as of yesterday morning!
Last summer while on tour, we learned of this company and their
unusual string coating method (I'll spare you the boring-to-anyone-but-
a-guitarist details). A few months ago, in a Discovery Channel-worthy
moment, Nat and I were invited over to their factory to see how their
strings were made. We met with their guys, they gave us some samples,
and we gave them some CDs.

Long story short, both parties liked what they heard, and that brings
us to yesterday morning's email exchange that added Talking to Walls
to their roster of artists (alongside our friends Mike Falzone and the
Peppermint Trick) and added Aurora Strings to our list of endorsements
next to Godin Guitars and Spectraflex Cables. It was a nice email
chat over breakfast, you know?

Anyway, this was one of the sets they gave me. They make more normal-
colored strings too of course, but I said "no, I think I'll grab
those..." What else was I supposed to do?

Purple Shirt of the Week: Losing Eddie Vedder

This has nothing to do with this week's post, but seemed worthy to share at some point: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planet_Purple

I remember this as a child.

Every night, week, or whatever it was, I would watch Mister Roger's Neighborhood. The trolley, king and queen were regular characters on my family's television. So was Sherlock, but I don't remember if he was in the Land of Make Believe or on Magic Garden. X the Owl and Sherlock both seemed to own similar, centrally-located properties on both of those programs.

Anyway, I remember these human-sized Purple Pandas that used to talk to Mr. Rogers. (I thought that, along with the Koala, that these creatures must be friendly in real life as well, if not purple. Nope, they'll rip your arms our of your socket like a losing Wookie. Well, the pandas will, not sure about the koala. might just lose your face. But, as is often the case, I digress...)

Apparently the Purple Pandas were real, at least in the "what they put on TV is real" sort of way. I forgot about there being a whole planet.

Oooh, i just thought of a tie-in! Much like these characters were on my TV all the time as a child, years later the band that brought you "Alive" and "Elderly woman behind the counter in a small town" also became regulars on my TV. Along with their rock and roll chaos, they also brought with them flannel from the Northwest. In one form or another, the flannel stayed, at least on the edge, in society, while Pearl Jam completely went off the map, musically and figuratively. Well, they're back with an impossibly amazing album, and you know what? Eddie Vedder still has his amazing voice. And the hair. And the goatee. And the same wardrobe. Sorry Ed, I bought this shirt a few years ago, but as I clean out my closet and make a big bag of stuff for donating, I realize I've moved on from the flannel.

And yes, those are my drapes behind me.

Purple Shirt of the Week: Christmas Wrap-up

Well, Christmas ended 35 minutes ago, so before i sign off here, I
wanted to share the best gift I got this year. No, it wasn't the
"Greyskull" Chuck Taylors with the pirate-style skull and crossbones
on the tongues. And not the remote controlled R2-D2.* Even better
than the vintage-still-in-original-packaging 1984 Stormtrooper action
figure**! It's my newest purple shirt!

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a purple borealis night!

* Well, no, not really.
**Again, not really. Notice a theme this year? And I bought the
giver of this gift a 12-inch Yoda Christmas tree topper

Purple Shirt of the Week: Revenge of the (Purple) Creature

Dear Diary. I'm sorry I've not written you in a long time. I was all
set to, but got very busy. And you know, as soon as you don't do
something, it's much easier to keep not doing it. Which is why I
don't eat cauliflour. Why start when I can just keep not eating it?*

It's a shame, too, because I really had a good need to share something
with the world at large. You see, a great evil force was at work
against the land of Purpledom. You see, my day job involves me
fighting the armies of bad taste as a graphic designer. So on this
particular day in mid-November, I was designing something for a
client. A well-known household name, and it was pretty cool to work
on it since I've used some of their stuff. Anyway, my work came out
pretty nice I thought, and so I sent my design over to them, expecting
it to go over well. Coincidentally, the design was primarily Purple.
But then I got an email back saying "So-and-so person isn't going to
like this because they don't like Purple." Say WHAT??? This was like
the compulsive lip-licking that some of the bad-guys in Harry Potter
do - they may look like everyone else, but there's that little tip-off
that tells you "watch out, either they are a Deatheater or they still
haven't washed off the bit of egg yolk off of their face since
breakfast and are still trying to get to it." So obviously they were
evil-incarnate in this case.

Now, here's the problem. The design itself was solid, and they liked
it. Not liking a color is seldom grounds for dismissing the design.
You eliminate entire color palates that way, don't judge based on what
you would or wouldn't paint your living room in. But more
importantly, the color I chose was THE DOMINANT COLOR OF THEIR LOGO!!!

To counteract this demon, I share with you a mighty and vibrant purple
(not to be confused with mighty purple...that's for another
conversation) top a friend of mine wore to the Tenth of July Mustache
and Tag Sale Party. (By this point she had lost her mustache; she did
play by the rules earlier in the evening...)

Hopefully this now restores balance to the Purple Force.

-brian

*Exception: My friend Ankita makes awesome home-made Indian food. She
tricked me into eating cauliflour. I still haven't forgiven her for
that, but in the meantime will still gladly eat everything she puts in
front of me.** Kind of like my friend Rob's mom when i was growing up
- I didn't realize that broccoli didn't have to be nauseating until I
had it stir-fried Asian style.***

**This pokes a hole in my platform, doesn't it?

***However these two exceptions to the perennial list of "Things Your
Kids Won't Eat" might be the end of my breaks with tradition. Serve
me brussels sprouts and you're at LEAST looking at a broken window as
i defenestrate the dinner.****

****I always liked that word. "Defenestrate". On another note, I
used to like the pun "Extinguish the cat" as in "put the cat
out(side)". Though to do so through a pane of glass would be hard on
the kitty, so these two things are completely unrelated.*****

*****Where was I???

Purple Shirt of the Week: Cookie Time! (A year of purple)

Sorry I'm late again with the posting, but I've been celebrating! As
you all no doubt know, last week heralded two major dates in recent
history - my birthday and the one year anniversary of the Purple Shirt
of the Week!

Obviously, with these two events, not only have I been celebrating,
but going through the bags and bags of mail that I received from
around the world to mark these occasions. (Yup, apparently many of you
still use the post as a viable method of letter-sending. And for that
I thank you, because it means the postal service won't cut back on
Saturday delivery, which would cut into my Netflix deliveries.)

Well, now that I'm back, and before we resume to the fall collection
of purple shirts for this year (yes, getting back on track with the
upper body apparel...soon), I wanted to share with you the cookies
that were made for me on my birthday by my girlfriend Kim. See that
frosting? Ain't it cool? Nothing better than a good cookie - it's a
single serving, it's portable, it's everything you ever need in a
treat. And it comes in chocolate. Ren & Stimpy once performed a work
on the topic of logs, and I must say, I feel very much the same about
the humble cookie.

I've gotten some other purple-themed gifts over the past few weeks,
which is very cool; and I don't think we're headed for a problem in
that department, unlike The Great Elmo Impasse of 1995.*

So thank you. Its wonderful to have so many adoring fans.

-your purple highness (or pain in the highness)

*The Great Elmo Impasse of 1995 began with a simple event, or, in
retrospect, a poor decision on my part (isn't that how so many of my
stories begin?). I was in high school and had started dating a girl
(who's merits of intelligence are questioned for other reasons in a
song called "Chiaroscuro" on the upcoming record, for those of you
keeping track of such things). Girl and I went to the mall on one of
our first dates, and wandered around aimlessly, as high school kids
are wont to do. Well, i decided to make it a scavenger hunt - let's
spot Elmo! Now, mind you, in 1994 (yes, this begins in 1994, I'll get
there), Elmo was not the ubiquitous icon that he is today. Why was I
thinking of Elmo of all things? Well, the girl I had not-really-dated-
but-i-wasn't-stalking-let's-just-say-i'm-slow-to-get-the-point just
prior to Girl was a big Elmo fan. So somehow that was still on my
mind... You know how your Aunt that one time said in passing that she
thought frogs were cute, and for the next 5 years everyone bought her
frog-related gifts for every holiday? Yeah, that's pretty much what
happened for the next year and a half. By the end of that
relationship, I had received about 16-18 Elmos, most of which were for
Christmas 1995, just when I thought the smoke had cleared and I'd seen
the end of the fuzzy little guy. And it wasn't because I kept bringing
him up! Nope, she just took that ball and ran with it. Hard. It took
me a long time to finally tell her I never really had a thing for
Elmo; every time I thought it would be a good time**, I would be
quagmired in more red muppet. I don't remember what happened to the
three-foot tall Elmo i got, but rest assured, none of them remain!

**When I finally did tell her "hey, this elmo thing's cute, but i
think i have enough now", we were in the car on our way to a party
somewhere. And she took it to mean that all of her gifts ever given
were horrible and that I was breaking up with her before we got to the
party where all my friends were at and she knew no one. In
retrospect, I probably should have gone with the flow on that one***,
but that's hindsight for you.

***Have I mentioned I'm slow sometimes?